I need to be a Zebra

or The Importance of Goal Setting

First Things First

Still not impressed with the speed of our new Broadband Connection. Before the switch over we had 4 Meg, now we are down to 0.3 Meg. The units are not important really, all you need to know is that downloading the images for tonight's Blog, is taking forever, Ggrrrr!! What did we do before all this technology?

Secondly

Oven part ordered over the Internet, has arrived, has been fitted by DH and oven is now back in operation. Woohoo!! Maybe now I can cook the biscuit mix I had made before it blew up. Hopefully can now try out a few new recipes over the Bank Holiday weekend. A friend suggested I try some from CBeebies, she obviously realises my level of capability!!

More Importantly - Goal Setting

I went to my G.P. yesterday, ostensibly to be doled out some more tablets, to keep me from becoming a problem, while I wait the interminable wait for some actual "talking" therapy, which ultimately is the only thing likely to stop me being a drain on the system in the first place. No, don't get me started on the state of this country's mental health services or this post would never end. Anyway, my G.P. is actually a lovely chap, who has been very kind to both DH and I, since all this started. Whatever, you might think about his advice, at least he takes the time to listen and to try and support with some advice and I do believe he really cares. (Hopefully I'm not just being naive).

He could see I was more Blah! than I was last month when I went to see him, and when I explained it was hard to get motivated to do anything, he reiterated what I do know already, that it is important for people with depression to set themselves goals. Not to beat themselves up with, but to try and keep them moving forwards. He stressed again the importance of exercise and whilst I have managed to keep up the Aquafit and the Taekwondo, my enthusiasm has definitely fallen into a slump, and the exercise I was doing has gone by the board. He was kind enough not to mention the fact that I am "Obese", and I was too chicken to tell him I've put on 3 pounds in the last month.

However, in the interests of giving me goals to aim for, and to increase my exercise, to get all those lovely endorphins released to raise my spirits, he set me a Challenge. Sign up for a 5k Race for Life and start getting sponsorship, so I make myself accountable for it to people. Then get a training plan in place to get ready for it. Once I've done that, then sign up for a 10k Race for Life next and after that sign up for a half Marathon. Now I had been thinking of doing the 5k Race for Life this year for a little while. Indeed, every time the advert comes on, No.2. Son says, you're doing that again aren't you Mommy! However, the thought of me doing a half Marathon is frankly ludicrous, but when I said "Running isn't really my thing. I don't do running."  He explained that I needed to be a Zebra. 

He said that it's all very well for us humans, we are fortunate enough that if we wake up feeling a bit under the weather and can't be bothered to do anything, we can just sit in an armchair or lie on the couch and relax. If you are a Zebra and you wake up and see the rest of the Dazzle (yes that is a collective noun for Zebras), moving on, you can't say to yourself, "Really? must we move on to another watering hole? I'm not really in the mood for it today, can't we just stay here? Tell you what guys, you all move on the next place, I'll just lie back down here". No you can't - because what happens if all the other Zebras move on and you're left on your own? Mmm,num,num, a lion gets a tasty snack, that's what happens! So I have to be a Zebra and just keep moving forward whether I feel like it or not, not wait until I feel like it to move forwards!!

In the interests of being a Zebra, I am now fully signed up for my 5k Race for Life in July. It cost me £14.99 for the privilege. I don't suppose I can take that out of the sponsorship money? No, no, sorry, what am I talking about? Of course I can't, sorry! In fact, I'm not sure I'd be able to anyway, because I'm rubbish at asking people to sponsor anything, still, even if I only tell people I'm doing it, that's the point. I have also started a new page to record my weight loss and for the first couple of weeks a food diary to get me started. Now the thought of putting my weight loss (or more probably lack of loss), out there in the public domain for all to laugh at and criticise is making me very shaky, but I guess accountability can be like that and I have to be a Zebra. Zebras don't spend all their time thinking about what they should or shouldn't do, or what the other Zebras think of them, they just keep moving forwards. So new Page done and weight declared! Oh Lord, I feel I may regret that sooner rather than later.

I'm worn out just from the thought of what I have to do, so I'm going for a quick lie down. There's no lions about are there?

Lots of Love Arwedd xx